it happens

3 hours. Just sitting there on your bed while you talked about happiness and feeling connected to yourself and such.
"It was so perfect Morgan. It was different this time. I felt so connected with myself, like it felt real."

"Are you gonna keep doing it on a regular basis?"

"Eh I don't know. I know I shouldn't but I like it. No, I'm not going to. I hate this feeling of not knowing if I'm gonna get caught or not. But then again I really don't care anymore. I want to do what I want to do."

Ugh!!! Why? You went from constanly being baked to being completely clean for almost 2 years and now you've thrown it away and you don't even care...you looked so hollow...I waited until you fell asleep and then slowly left. I got in my car and drove. I just drove. For almost an hour crying and talking to Jesus and wondering if people hurt this bad when I made poor decisions. This shook me up real bad and finally at about 930, Jesus reminded me that He still forgive and loves me despite everything I've done and I should do the same. So as much as hurts me to see you this way, I forgive you and love you all the more!

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
 
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. 1 John 1:9-10