denial

I was walking down the hall on my way to class this afternoon and randomly it was just me in the hallway. As usual, I was thinking and my brain wouldn't chill out and what it was thinking about really disturbed me...i'm in denial about so many areas of my life. Livestrong helped me out with exactly what being in denial looks like:
* Being unwilling to face problems on either a conscious or subconscious level.
* Acting as if there are no problems to face.
* A defensive response; protection from pain, hurt or suffering.
*A mask to hide feelings or emotions behind.
* A way to avoid conflict, disagreements or disapproval from others.
* A way to avoid facing the negative consequences of reality.
* A way of retaining our sanity when experiencing unbearable pain.
* A way to repress the truth of our loss, a way to continue to function in "normally."
* A pattern of life for individuals who are compulsively driven to "look good."
* A way to avoid the risk of change as a result of problems or loss.
I almost broke down once I realized this because it's dumb. Why do I respond to things this way? Why can't I just let things be? Why does reality throw me off so bad? One example-For the first time in my life, I didn't rush to the bedside of a friend who's hurting and in pain and you know what, he's ok and God's got it covered without my help. He doesn't need me to do anything. But my reasons for not going are ridiculous and selfish, which is not ok. Romans 15:1-6:
"We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, “The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.”Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled. May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

He's forgotten the refrain, JESUS SAVES!!!