"Put your hands on your diaphragm. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, slowly. In and out. In and out. We're gonna start at your toes, tense the muscles...tense your whole body from head to toes, and release. Now picture a light, starting at your toes, coming up your shins, knees, thighs, through your stomach and up through your head. It's full of warmth. It relaxes you. Imagine yourself heavy, sinking into the floor, becoming one with the floor and now imagine yourself floating..." It wasn't until I fell asleep that I stopped thinking about it, the thought never left my mind. I had gone so long without ever thinking about it or anything and then look at me now, I can't stop thinking about it. There's something wrong with this picture. My theatre teacher spent 55 mins trying to get us to relax on the floor in a pitch black room and I wasn't able to shut my brain off even for a little while. It did get me out of my bad mood but it still didn't stop the thoughts. A friend mentioned last night that I'm nearly constantly stuck in a particular state and I had never thought about it until she said it, but it's so true. That's not where I want to be- a sitting duck covered in tar attached to a decaying log. Maybe I've yet to embrace salvation for what it truly is? Maybe I'm allowing guilt to be present? Maybe I need a nap.