Finally

I've been home for 4 days now and I've had PLENTY of time to process some stuff if not everything from a few weeks ago. So let's unload some of this mental process and see what we got...every teenager wants to be out of the house and on their own right? Ok maybe not every, but most have gone through that stage. I'd venture to say that very few have actually tasted that reality for any length of time. But those that have know just how terrifying and not freeing it can be. When you feel like you have to leave and you don't know what to do. You've got 100 bucks in the bank, a tank of gas and a bag of clothes for the week, where would you go? When what once was your only sense of security has crumbled into pieces, what do you do? People I thought would show up didn't, but that was my fault. People I didn't expect to show up did, and it was incredibly welcoming and comforting. I was given an oversized couch to sleep on, a few meals over the course of my stay and even a key to make me feel right at home. How did it all come about? Let's take it day by day.
First day, I had to say goodbye to 2 people, go to the doctor by myself for the first time ever and figure out where I was to reside for the next week. May seem easy? Not so much. I was a wreck and it took everything in me to just continue with the days activities. Day 2, I got detention for being late that was nice and of course I hadn't done any of my homework due to the last two days events. School wasn't too bad though, it never is. But then immediately after, my sweet sweet grandpa called and took me to lunch. I was still weepy but he understood and we small talked and then he bought me peach cobbler, a favorite. Love him! More stress was to come because then I had to go register for class by myself which had never happened before and it took like 2 hours. But then I went "home" and Patrick had made a delicious dinner and the three of us watched tv until I fell asleep. Day 3, was really chill until I got "home" and got that phone call. Oh that phone call I will never forgot. Let's just say it did not end well and I stayed with my brother. Day 4 was the same until 6 when I got another phone call requesting that I come home home. Not a lot of talk came of it, but much anxiety arose. I prolonged it as much as possible and didn't get there until like 10 or so.
It was quiet for a day or so until we all talked about everything. That was not pretty but a necessary process when a conflict occurs. It was a scary process and not a lot came of it, but at least I got to talk and it appeared that I was heard. Many would think that I was just another rebellious teenager, but the amount of abandonment I felt that first day doesn't compare. This all brought a lot of things into perspective for me such as who my family is, what they mean to me, and it also taught me that I'm stronger and weaker than I thought I was. Would I take it back? Not for anything. Did I learn a lot? A hell of a lot more than I knew before.
So then I processed how God worked in this whole situation?
-He provided me a mode of transportation
-He provided me with meals
-He placed Patrick and Whitney together awhile ago and that gave me a place to stay
-He provided me with strength when I did not want to go
-He comforted me when I was broken
-He put the pieces back together
-He mended those relationships
-He made me feel loved when I didn't see it
-He showed me which step to take next
-He never left!