defeated

this is the second time this week. Y'all are predators! How dare you befriend little 8th graders and corrupt them? Giving them alcohol, telling them what you did and when, trying to condition them to be something they weren't designed to be. NO! You are wrong. Do you even know what you're doing? Ugh I want to call you so bad right now and just tell you the harm that you're doing to this poor child. Do you even know what she's been through? You think you're so bad. I dare you to live 3 days in her shoes not knowing where you're gonna sleep, what you're gonna eat or who you're gonna talk to next. You wouldn't survive, I can promise you that much or you'd be begging to go home. I'm terrified to go to church tomorrow because I know if I see you, I'm going to say something to you and it won't be pretty.

my heart hurts for this girl. I beg the Lord to keep her safe, I beg Him to move in her life, I beg Him to keep her out of jail just until I'm 21 and can adopt her. This life just isn't fair. Once your dealt the hand your dealt, there's nothing you can do. She's been screwed from the beginning and doesn't know how not to fight for everything in life. my heart hurts for this little child. "You're old enough now to be tried as an adult" were words that came out of my mouth as I poured out my heart to her this week. "Are you scared of jail?" was one of the questions and the heart-wrenching reply was "I don't know." But the truth is, she's never known anything else, why would she be? She's just trying to survive and get through each day with some sort of inkling about tomorrow. She was shocked to know a tiny bit about my story but that's all I could give as it took all I had not to burst into tears as she was sharing her life story since she was 8. I cried all the way back to my dorm room, on campus, not caring who saw or what they heard me say on the phone. my heart hurts for her.

This was just kinda the icing to this no good terrible very bad week-2 of my girls being prey to older influences, one of which clearly got the blood in my heart pumping. I had a rough night then and I'm still recovering. I haven't stopped thinking about her and it makes me want to scream every time I think about it. I know the Lord is faithful and He takes care of His children, but sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel...