I got a lot of things on my mind, which is probably the reason that I woke myself up talking last night and then didn't fall asleep for almost 2 hours.
First things first. People who have problems can't help people who have problems. Layman's terms:
Problems + Problems =More Problems
We all have our issues and we can't fix everyone else's issues. That's God's job. If we're so caught up in another person that we can't seem to function without them, that's another problem. I think the main idea here, is that there is a problem and people are refusing to address it. Pretty soon, it's gonna get messy but all we can do is wait for it to unfold and watch the Lord pick up the pieces.
Secondly, I'm about sick and tired of everyone being grumpy EVERY single day and claiming they "had a bad day." Get over it! You have the Lord, stop living by your emotions and accept the truth-"the joy of the Lord is your strength." Do you know who has had more than one bad day and they can still find joy amongst the chaos? The Hansens...I have never witnessed something so beautiful. I was at their house maybe 3-4 days after Nick died and there was joy. Not that there weren't tears and that it wasn't heart breaking, but we had community and reminisced about all the great times that had been had. And about that, do you know what's ridiculous? Posers/Fakes. All these people claiming that they were Nick's "best friend" and thinking that it's ok. I know it hurts losing someone in the community-he's not the first one. But it's not ok, because his actual best friend doesn't even feel like he can go to the special events that people set up because there are a swarm of people who feel entitled to be there because they were his "best friend" and who demand attention. If you're his best friend, did he ask you to be his best man less than a week before the crash? I don't think so! I may be a little blunt here but I'm tired of seeing grown men break down and get hurt by people who don't even realize the harm that they're causing. I may not be in the youth group every week but I know what goes on unfortunately. It's weird to think that I'm gone yet still involved but in a sense, I'm thankful because I know what to be praying for. MMBC is a special place and it's doing great things for those of us who will get out of our own heads.
Thirdly, your actions don't just affect you but they affect everyone around you. Sin is a fast-spreading disease and it's hurtful.
Lastly, I can't wait to go to Heaven! I have so many questions and I get so excited when I think about that moment. I'm not scared of dying-there's no reason to be if the moment I take that last breath, I'm swept away by my one true love. It almost brings me to tears to think about it. But at the same time, I always wonder when? When will God finish me to completion? When will I get to go and spend eternity with my Creator? I don't know but I'm super stoked!
Sincerely,
One strange little mind
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